Kevin here. . .
These days, my loving partnership with Vicki is at the forefront of my mind. As Valentine’s Day approaches, I am prompted to deepen our relationship even more by exchanging love letters. So, I came up with a list of 10 questions to ask myself that I hope will point me in the right direction. I feel they are relevant issues in most relationships, so I would be honored if you find them helpful as well.
Questions to myself:
- Can I remember that friction in our relationship is not always about me, and can I learn to ask what’s going on before I react?
- How can I l give my aging body what it needs without negative judgment?
- Can I learn to say No when I need to. . .and remember to say it with love?
- Can I share sexual fantasies with my Beloved without shame?
- How can I be strong for Vicki when she needs me, and also be soft and vulnerable when that is what I need?
- Can I know when to compromise and when to hold fast?
- Can I ask for what I need and want without fear, shame, or guilt?
- How can I live with my Beloved with an open and nonjudgmental heart?
- Can I let go of my need to always be right? And remember to ask myself, “Would I rather be right or happy?”
- Can I transition with grace to the new physical realities I face as I age?
Victoria here. . .
In writing love letters on Valentine’s Day, I want to describe the 10 Things I Most Love About Kevin. In writing them down, I realized that I hope to be able to embody the noble qualities I see in him—to be the loving, self-aware, compassionate partner he deserves.
- He shows up. I can trust him to do what’s in our best interests.
- He is smart and competent. He does things well, quickly without procrastinating.
- He’s generally optimistic and good-natured.
- He is a kind, generous human being who treats me and others well.
- I’m attracted to him—my body likes his body.
- I can count on him to gently pull me back into a loving connection when I get lost.
- His eccentricities dovetail with mine.
- X-rated. Let’s just say Kevin keeps me happy!
- I feel young and hopeful around him.
- I like who I am becoming as we grow old together because he brings out the best in me.
While we both take a different approach to appreciating each other—I’m present-oriented and he looks to the future—we both know it’s critical to make the time to foster our relationship. A garden will not grow without watering and cultivation, and the same is true with our relationship. We must treat it with tender, loving care for Us to thrive. Sharing love letters with each other is one way to do this.
Take a bold step with your Beloved: Write love letters, and share them with each other on Valentine’s Day. Let us know how that goes in the comments below.