fbpx

Loving The Soft Penis

Statue of David

Victoria here. . .

So now that Kevin manned-up and wrote about being impotent, it’s my turn to bare my soul and write about loving the soft penis. I mean, the poor little guy—everyone discredits him because he’s not hard. Well, so what? He still loves to be fondled, and he can orgasm and ejaculate just like the big boys. A fact which you, dear reader, may already know but which completely surprised me one summer some years ago.

The maligned soft penis 

I guess if your lovemaking is limited to penis/vagina intercourse where you need a hard cock for penetration, a flaccid penis is most unwelcome. But if you can get beyond thinking of sex in this one-dimensional way, and you’ve learned some hot new moves for the bedroom, there is no shame in having a soft penis.

Men are so embarrassed by it. . .they seem to consider a soft penis a huge character defect, a personal failing on their part. They make women feel like they should avert their eyes, act as if nothing untoward has happened, and pretend they don’t care that little brother has stolen the show. Awkward all around.

The thing is most women don’t know what to do with a soft penis, especially when it’s supposed to be hard. We all take it personally. . .really, really personally, right girls? Like it’s our fault. We feel guilty because if we were just sexier or were just better at doing that, then we’d have the handsome older brother instead of the puny little guy who’s not much of a player.

Overshadowed and overlooked

I get it. I really do. Enjoying a soft penis goes against the nature of things. When I ask my husband Kevin why men prefer a hard penis over a soft one, he has difficulty finding the words to describe it. Looking up from his Kindle after a while, he tells me an engorged penis is sooooo much more sensitive and pleasurable for men—there is no comparison, it just feels amazing and the soft penis doesn’t. And, of course, there is the proverbial, instinctive male need to stick it anywhere supposedly to procreate the race. He didn’t use those exact words, but we women know all about that.

Learning to love a soft penis

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not writing this because Kevin is impotent, and I’m trying to make the best of it. With so many options for “male enhancement” on the market these days, we have a lusty sex life with his very robust penis. I just happen to love his penis when it’s soft. . .it allows me to be creative and adds another dimension to our lovemaking.

I didn’t always feel this way. Some years ago, I spent time with a lovely Spanish gentleman who had been impotent for years due to medical issues. He wasn’t embarrassed by his impotence and enjoyed what little sensation he had left in his penis. He was a kind, generous lover who taught me that sex is much more than a hard penis. For him, sex was a long, languid afternoon siesta. So, I learned how much fun the little guy can be.

Pleasure without shame

I’ve taken loving a soft penis to a new level with Kevin, my beloved who encourages me to be my most liberated sexual self. But even he was shy about sharing little Mr. Softee with me at first. In spite of being a grateful refugee from the “Man Box,” he has struggled with the stigma of impotence and not being able to “get it up” whenever he wants.

But for me, there is no shame in him having a soft penis. The little guy is friendlier and much easier to deal with than his hard counterpart. The big guy always has an agenda, whereas the soft penis is flexible, open to suggestion, and very playful. Everything seems to please him. Although not as responsive to touch as his big brother, he loves soft kisses and the warmth of my mouth. . .I can tell by the sounds of pleasure Kevin makes when I’m being affectionate down there.

About oral sex

I realize not everyone feels this way about oral sex. For some, it’s a treat, others find it disgusting. Although I’m not going to try and convert the non-believers, I’m asking you to appreciate what a loving, intimate gift oral sex is for your man. A man’s penis is a physical and emotional extension of his being. So if you love your man, consider learning how to show love for his penis as well, both when it’s hard and soft.

There is a big difference between oral sex with a hard penis and a soft penis. When the big guy is flooded with hormones and erect, he is a fierce contender who can choke and gag his lover. Loving the soft penis is a more intimate, tender experience. Since we have no pornographic image of sex with a flaccid penis, oral sex can be sweet and pure. And, we givers are in the dominant role with a soft penis and can be as creative as we want when pleasuring him.

An intimate pleasure

Another difference is that while people can have intercourse and oral sex without being in love, making love with a flaccid penis is something only beloveds do. Because the act is all about intimacy and vulnerability, you won’t want to do this if your relationship is short-term and lacks depth.

Being sexual in this way involves the most vulnerable part of your man. Not only is he trusting you not to hurt him, but he is emotionally at your mercy. I feel such tenderness for the part of Kevin he doesn’t show the world. And when he accepts this intimacy from me, I feel closer to him than ever.

Tips on making love with a soft penis
Women:
  • Begin by asking your beloved if he would be comfortable with you loving his penis when it’s soft. Open up communication and get permission beforehand.
  • Remember you’re doing this to pleasure your lover. This is not about getting him hard—there should be no agenda, just fun sex play.  
  • Keep in mind that while the soft penis is less sensitive than when he’s hard, he still needs to be handled and mouthed gently. Hold the soft penis as if he were a delicate little bird. Ask your guy how much pressure he’s comfortable with before beginning.
  • Use your lips to cover your teeth. Being bitten creates trauma unless your guy likes that kind of thing (most don’t, but ask anyway).
  • Little and big kisses, gentle sucking, tickling with your tongue, warm breath all work. The glans (head) of the penis is the most sensitive. The tender inside of his thighs is also very responsive.
  • Remember the balls. They are very tender but enjoy attention as well.  Once again, get feedback on his sensitivity level before beginning.
  • Change it up. The sensitivity is lost when you do just one thing repeatedly. Be playful, and remember it’s all about having fun while giving your man pleasure.
Men:
  • Be clean for your beloved. Bathe meticulously beforehand, especially if you’re uncircumcised.
  • Encourage your lover with lots of feedback. Be generous with your praise—moans, body writhing, stroking her hair, and affectionate words build confidence and tell her she’s on the right track.
  • Gently let her know when she’s being too rough, or too soft, because this is new territory for her. Feedback both ways is the key to genuine enjoyment.
  • Don’t worry if you feel self-conscious when your soft penis is being kissed and caressed. Learning to share that part of your body will lead to a more intimate connection with your partner.
Kevin here. . .

Dear Vicki, thank you for the brave, straightforward, heartfelt post!

A couple of points from my perspective. . .  

First, when I was sexually aware of my soft penis in the past, it was with the expectation that it would get hard. Learning to let go of that expectation was key to enjoying sex play when my penis is soft. That took time and some discussion, but it’s been worth it.

Second, when the penis is soft, it accounts for less than 5% of the sensory input into our brain, meaning the amount of physical sensation we men experience is very small because few nerves are activated when it’s flaccid. However, when the penis is engorged and erect, it occupies more than 75% of a man’s sensory awareness, meaning the majority of our attention is focused there. So, we men are used to massive sensory input when our penis is stimulated and erect but not when it’s flaccid. So, we tend to ignore it when it’s soft.

It took me time to appreciate the less intense, subtle sensations of my penis being stimulated when it’s soft. Instead of enjoying the loving attention, I just wanted to get hard so that I could get to the good stuff. Adjusting to the smaller, sensual footprint of sex play with a soft penis took some getting used to. But eventually, after much practice, I found it delightful, and now I look forward to it.

Third, I really like it. The tenderness I feel when Vicki nuzzles and kisses my flaccid member is soooo sweet. It is a relief to lie back and passively enjoy her affection without any expectation of getting hard. The all-encompassing liquid warmth I feel when she takes my penis entirely into her mouth turns me on in a new erotic way. The lovely sensations expand my consciousness and infuse me with the feeling of being deeply loved and appreciated!

Thank you, My Beloved. I love you for being affectionate in ways I never previously imagined!

Do you have tips on interacting with a soft penis? If so, let us know in the comments below!

Photo credit: Adobe Stock

 

2 Comments

  1. Jeannie May 17, 2019 at 8:14 am - Reply

    WOW!!! What a beautiful, loving, mind- and heart-opening article.
    THANK YOU BOTH.
    I love you.
    Namaste

    • Victoria July 7, 2019 at 4:29 pm - Reply

      Thanks for your support, Jeannie. I was a little shy about posting that blog and appreciate your positive feedback.

Leave A Comment

2019-05-16T05:24:56+00:00