Presence not performance…
What makes senior sex so satisfying is the pressure to perform is off. It’s no longer about racing toward orgasm as much as it’s about being present with your partner. Being totally tuned into your lover and exploring together what turns each other on is really sexy.
Being present in the moment with another person is what makes sex great. Nothing is more delicious than having the full attention of someone you love focused on you, especially in bed. Mature sex is more about giving and receiving pleasure than it is about reaching orgasm.
That is not to say that senior sex is not orgasmic. It absolutely is orgasmic, and playful as well. When attention is paid to their erotic needs, women in their 50s, 60s, and 70s become orgasmic, some for the first time in their lives. There is no age limit on desire or having orgasms.
With the focus off performance, men are released from what I call the “tyranny of the erection,” and they often become better lovers. Finally, after years of everyone being focused on “coming,” attention shifts from the genitals to the lovers, allowing them to experience the profound intimacy of great sex.
The Secret: Stay present and tuned in
The problem with performance-driven sex—hard enough, big enough, orgasm, no orgasm—is that it gets boring. Nothing against penis/vagina sex, but after 40+ years of it, we know the routine. I mean, if it’s orgasms you want, you can always pleasure yourself. But to feel deeply connected when you make love, you want your partner to adore you and be tuned into your needs. Just as you will be present and tuned into his or her needs. Presence and intimacy rule in mature sex.
The irony of being present
Senior sex is better than the rest because it’s about making love instead of reaching orgasm. The irony of this is not lost on sexy seniors. The potential for orgasm is easier to achieve when we stop trying so hard and shift our awareness to being present with our beloved.